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a lethal dose of narcissism

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Monday, February 11th, 2008
11:41 pm - The Big Smoke
Where can you get your hairs cut in this city without giving up and arm and/or leg? Tell moi! First Choice won't do.

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Friday, September 7th, 2007
9:39 pm


So the other day someone pooped at the front door of Sunrise. Boss lady tried to wash it away, but the poop, it held its ground. Not only did the poop perservere, it seeped through the cracks in the sidewalk and into the basement. The Sunrise basement filled up with the stench of shit. But first, I couldn't just have this watery pile of human shit sitting at the front door, so I called the city's general inquiry line. I had to tell the lady I had a problem- that my problem was poop. Human poop at my front door. She laughed and transfered me to someone else, who laughed and transfered me to someone else, who laughed and sent somebody out to take care of the mess.

The man came and he cleaned up the shit, but not before yelling at me and saying this shit was not his problem. Whoever it was that had to shit that bad, right in the middle of Dundas St., made sure to shit on Sunrise property. Private property. But really, am I really going to clean up shit? I don't think so. I don't get paid to do that, and this excrement pile had already caused me enough trouble. So, the moral of this story is if anyone shits on your property, put on your shit-kicking boots, and kick the shit onto city property. Then the shit isn't your problem.

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Friday, June 9th, 2006
1:21 am

I got a present today!

It'sa me, MarioCollapse )


current mood: impressed

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Friday, May 5th, 2006
2:13 am


I am tired of sharing. In more ways than you can imagine.

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Sunday, April 23rd, 2006
5:20 pm


I went to get a bra fitting for the first time ever today. Seriously, it's amazing. I feel like it's going to change my life. First of all, I have bigger boobs, and a skinnier circumference than I thought, which is awesome. So after that I tried on bras in my size, and esthetically, it looks 238758275893 billion times better. As soon as I walked out of the store, I said I was posting on the internet. I am that excited about it.

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Thursday, April 20th, 2006
7:48 pm

Ewww, I think, I think John Mayer is hot.


current mood: blank

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Monday, April 3rd, 2006
5:46 pm

I am so obviously in hell right now. Or I'm a bigger masochist than I thought.

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Tuesday, March 21st, 2006
7:24 pm
Is there any way to get songs/albums off my iPod without deleting them from my iTunes?
Conversely, is there any way to have songs on my iTunes without having them automatically on my iPod?

*is technologically impaired advanced*

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Monday, February 20th, 2006
2:14 am

All you can eat sushi is probably like, the best thing ever invented.

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Sunday, January 15th, 2006
1:59 am

vomit-inducing hotnessCollapse )


current mood: nauseated

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Friday, November 18th, 2005
1:44 am
I hate feelings. Evolution should get rid of them. This is not even funny. Not any more.

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Saturday, October 1st, 2005
11:45 pm


I just unintentionally ran into a closed door with my face. Hard enough to make my nose bleed on the outside, and on the inside. This is my first nosebleed ever. I'm sorry it had to happen this way.

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Saturday, July 2nd, 2005
10:54 pm


Five songs I am borderline obsessed with lately, in order of obsession:

1. Girl, You'll Be A Woman Soon - Neil Diamond/Urge Overkill
2. Halcyon + On + On - Orbital
3. Wild Horses- Rolling Stones
4. Strict Machine - Goldfrapp
5. Red Red Wine - Neil Diamond

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Saturday, April 30th, 2005
1:13 am
A guaranteed way to wake up feeling like trash without drinking or doing drugs, is to sleep with your make up on.

I'm slightly obsessed with the Demeter frangrance line. I've bought Angel Food which is okay. Next I might pick up Gin and Tonic, or something else that smells like beautiful food. I also want a fragrance called Clean, but it's $75, and that's a ridiculous price just to stink rather good. Bodyshop vanilla will always be my favourite anyway. Wish there was a Sephora here.

I'm a little bit ashamed but I think I'm going to buy a pair of Baby Phat shoes. They're camoflage. Wearing leather boots in the summer is... hot. Consume. Consume. Consume.

I saw a photograph of 3/4 of my body the other day. I'm not pleased. I can never wear that pair of pants again. The painted on look really isn't that sexy. Exercise and I are going to have to start getting along, and food and I will have to break up for a bit.

Working in a mall today reinforced my belief that sane people suck, and crazy people are beautiful. Working in my shitty store is fun. It's filthy and falling apart, and some of the customers kind of make you want to wash your hands after you serve them.

I want to live off sushi, miso soup, green tea ice cream and sashimi.


current mood: drained

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Thursday, January 27th, 2005
6:45 pm


flipping you the birdCollapse )


current mood: distressed

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Thursday, November 4th, 2004
11:51 pm


Holy shit, the internet connection on my laptop works again.
I LOVE YOU MY LITTLE TOSHIBA MUFFIN!
He was sick and full of 37 terrible viruses.


I know this matters to no one but me, but it's been so long.
I think I am emotionally attached. The time apart has only made my love grow stronger.

In 9 minutes... 14 days until my side rises from the ashes.


current mood: happy

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1:53 am


I say things like this.

"i am terrified at the thought of alien abduction, and i really want to believe they can happen, because quite honestly it is fun to be terrified of something other than war, and failing at school, and getting raped in a dark alleyway.
there is no good evidence though.
no physical proof.
fucking pieces of shit. grab something from the space craft."

I hope I get abducted tonight.


Today I consumed:
-large double double
-1 litre or Pepsi
-2 hash browns from McDonalds
-4 mini Wunderbars, and I don't know how many Crispy Crunches
-1 McChicken sandwich
-1 medium french fries
-3 breakfast sausages
-4 clemantines
-1 1/2 moon


It's official. I'm distgusting.


current mood: fat

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Sunday, August 22nd, 2004
3:31 am
I sound conceited and self-important all the time! Hurray!

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3:07 am
It's my fucking birthday, and I am OLD!
I'm also a nerd. I logged in to myspace so I could see that my age had changed.
Today I went to a wedding with a fake tan, and too-tall-bendy-feet girly shoes. Earlier in the week I tried to get a little sun, but that backfired and the entire rear of me is now bright red. I had to even that out a little so I bought some spray on junk, and now I'm really ashamed. I'm posting it here because I feel I deserved to be ridiculed. I HAD A SPRAY ON TAN TODAY.

After the wedding there was a hotel party at the Delta Armouries. That place is incredibly nice inside. I'd live there maybe.
Went to GT's in my dress and for once felt like all the other ho-bitches in the place. A boy touched my shoulder and made a burning noise, and then did that slapping thing with his hand. I didn't know what to say because I couldn't believe that someone would actually do that.
I went to pick up the car with Stew and while we were gone apparently some guy got smashed by a car, and actually flew in the air. It's kind of morbid I know, but I wished I could have seen it. Instead I was squealing like a girl and running from an old man stumbling out of Poacher's blowing snot out of his nose.

On the way home drunk Tommy had to stop and pee, and he took a while. I looked over and I didn't see him anymore, but that was because he was on the ground. I thought he might have been dying because who voluntarily lies in their own piss? Apparently he wasn't lying in it, but I don't know if I buy it.
I stink and I'm going to bed.

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Tuesday, June 22nd, 2004
12:37 am

Some slut fly laid eggs in my lunch at work today. I was thisclose to vomiting.

They look like thisCollapse )

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